June 7, 2012
No, But Really

PERSON #1: *says a jackass thing*

PERSON #2: What a jackass thing to say!

PERSON #1: Oh my God, I have a right to free speech you know! This is so unfair!

PERSON #2: Indeed you do have a right to free speech. And the funny thing about rights is that everybody should have them. I also have a right to free speech! I do not have the right to stop your newspaper saying a jackass thing, to throw you into prison for saying a jackass thing, to fine you for saying a jackass thing, or to punish you for saying a jackass thing in any way. But I can say ‘What a jackass thing to say’ and by objecting to me doing so you make it look like you’re the one who has a problem with free speech, and the problem is that you want it only to apply to you, and you also want to go through life saying jackass things and not ever, ever being criticised for them. 

PERSON #1: …

PERSON #2: Which is nothing to do with free speech but is just you pulling off that rare thing, The Double Jackass. Congratulations sir, the last two consecutive things you said were terrible. Good day! I said good day.

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