Anonymous said: Hi Sarah are you up for any love advice? Cuz I have something horrible happening! I'm 21 and a teacher... When I first joined I was put in charge of a class of 16 year old delinquents all of whom are boys and have a history of getting expelled. In six months, they went from hating my guts to adoring me like a sister. One of them, the most notorious, got really close platonically i thought until one day he kissed me and i kissed him back. Now I don't know what to do :( Help?
… Mercy. Cassie Clare gets love advice questions that go ‘does this boy like me’ and I get this Movie Problem. Clearly it’s something about my face. Come to this woman with your scandal, say my freckles with a siren song.
So let us presume this Movie Problem is a real problem, and you have been put in charge at a tender age of this ‘Class de Total Delinquents’ and unfortunately won a heart with your foxy ways. I hope it won’t be a surprise to anyone when I say… don’t get involved with your students?
Hugo Schwyzer, a dude who writes about feminism who sometimes I disagree with and sometimes I don’t, wrote this article about how affairs with students badly undermines said students: http://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/i-cant-trust-your-praise-why-erotic-capital-isnt-capital/
In that article, he was talking about having an affair with an adult, and how that affair made sure that she didn’t know if his estimation of her intelligence was unbiased.
Having an affair with someone who is legally a child when you are legally an adult and have accepted responsibility for them… double plus ungood.
A firing offense, in fact, because students should be able to rely on teachers to be professionals, and not to mess with them emotionally or physically, or mess with their confidence in their intellectual abilities.
But, my advice rather than my opinion? Never be alone with this student again. Kindly but firmly turn down any students who make passes at you in the future.
If the idea of these situations entertains you, watch Pretty Little Liars or Daydream Nation, both of which have teacher/student relationships in them!
But in real life… you made a promise to do the best thing for your students. As a noted philosopher said ‘Don’t stand so close to me.’ Cool any student off on being hot for teacher. This isn’t rocket science.
(Note to all rocket scientists: if you’re teaching rocket science, don’t make passes at or accept passes from your students, or you will be a naughty rocket scientist indeed.)